Yeah, that's pretty much it. I was actually disappointed, but let me tell you about that later. We land and right off the bet we hit the best and the worst of Milan.

We start off walking through the airport, and a guy does the "Do you need a ride?" Oh what the hell, I'm tired and want to experience the best of Milan, fashion capital of the world. He takes one of our bags, takes us over to a counter, charges us $75, and walks us out the terminal. I’m starting to think does this guy realize I’m wearing my cape under my clothes, what does he think he going to get away with here? Next thing I know, bam! We’re loading up a sweet ass MB E350! Oh snap baby! This is the way you make an entrance to the fashion capital. The Espresso and Black interior was pure Italian. Reminds me of my father’s old Lancia. I sit back and take it all in, buon giorno signore.

Now I’m all excited about the aspect of being in Milan, fashion capital of the world. Although a Maserati would have been more appropriate, we are in this elegant car on our way through the streets of Milan to our DoubleTree Hotel. Unfortunately, this dream has come to an abrupt end. Fashion capital of the world? Driving through the streets, where is the fashion?  Milan, it turns out, is a left over from old World War II days. The city is a massive conglomeration of ancient deco styles, but none of it really comes together as high fashion. More like shabby chic. The streets are incredibly bad, most of them are still cobble stone, making you wonder how did a horse and buggy ever get across this? The buildings are more low maintenance than high fashion. Don’t give me wrong, it’s still a little better than most of New Orleans, or even South Houston. This is simply not what I imagined when I’ve been told for the last 55 1/2 years that this is Milan, fashion capital of the world. Where's the shine...the sheen...the glamour?

We finally arrive at the DoubleTree Hotel, and the entry and lobby are quite nice. Now this is what I expected Milan to look like: Lean and clean lines, minimalist design, elegant and luxurious. We check in, Stefano was so helpful with information about town. The room is comfortable, an appropriate size for a more business travel oriented hotel like the DoubleTree.  Nancy says she’s starving so we walk out to check the neighborhood out to see what kind of local leads are available. Yes, I would probably would have been appropriate to simply order room service, but I want to see Milan! In the lobby is my first taste of Milan fashion. A small men's store is located in the lobby with suits, jackets, ties, even shoes. I try on a couple of jackets, but nothing is quite the right size. Oh well, this is a hotel, so what do you expect? Outside in the streets is where the real fashion happens. I want to get out in the streets and see the people. See the people? The streets are empty and we walk about a quarter-mile before we reach the main street which has the number 14 trolley car. We hang a left and walk down another quarter-mile before we find a restaurant open, and it’s the Chinese restaurant we saw driving in, Ristorante Cinese Felice. Better known as Happy Chinese Restaurant. Everything else looks closed up, so we go in, but this little Chinese place was not what I was expecting to have as my first meal  in Milan. But Nancy is hungry and she loves Chinese food, so she orders. Our first night in Milan is a quiet one while we eat in the room.

Day 1 Milan: We head out to grab lunch and walk up the street from the hotel. Yesterday I saw a place that looked like a café, so let’s check that out and get some local flavor. We find the café, named Tom and Jerry. Tom and Jerry? Give me break, like the American cartoons? I look up and there’s actually the cat and mouse characters on the marquee, so yes, that Tom and Jerry. We head inside and have our first Italian meal. Finally!  From here we hop the trolley that runs throughout the city, and head to Central Milano. Rundown buildings, cobblestone streets, and various people scaring about. But as we get to Milan, the look becomes more retail, and more and more store fronts start popping up. But still, nothing in the vein of the glamour that I expected. Our first stop is il Duomo, this is tourist central for Milan. There’s got to be 10 to 20,000 people walking about here. The Duomo is massive, enormous, gigantic, and any other superlative you can think of to indicate a church that's the oldest in Italy and something like the 4th or 5th largest in the world. I notice the intense amount of sculptures around the building. I mean they are everywhere, never ending. Imagining the man hours of this level of detail in, this is the kind of thing you do for life, and it’s also why you wind up only living until you’re 40. What an incredible amount of work, and the craftsmanship is amazing.

Next to il Duomo is the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II. Now this is the Milan I expected, open air shopping with tons of gelato shops and high-end fashion such as Dior, Prada, Gucci. But, this is just one small little area. Maybe 1000 meters each way. It’s fabulous to walk through and marvelous to look at, but this is all in very small given the importance of fashion capital of the world. We walk around and come across the Ferrari store now this is cool. Maybe I can go in and buy some Ferrari gear, straight from Italy! Wait, this is the same stuff from the F1 website. And look, it's 15% more with the conversion rate. never mind. Now I'm hungry and we get pulled into Gino's 1928 for dinner. This is a little again getting back to the Milan that I expected. We finished dinner and look up in the sky is the most incredible color of royal blue.  It looks as if there’s got to be some kind of artificial lighting to give at this color, but no, that’s just the color of Milan around 9 o’clock at night at the end of August. Absolutely incredible. Then I remember the night sky in Monaco and Nice. Must be something in the Mediterranean air. Back at the hotel, the men's store is still there, but now the attendant has left although the suits are still there. I dig a little deeper, determined to find a jacket to take home as my Milan suit. Nothing. Now I’m really eager to head back into Milan to find some proper Milanese fashions.

Day 2 - Monza: We head out to the race track, and this time we just decide to eat lunch at the track. It's a beautiful day, and Stefano's instructions on getting to the track via train are spot on. A DoubleTree shuttle takes us to Certosa station. From there we ride up to the Biassano-Lesmo station, and along with 10,000 other fans, we file off and follow the herd to the gate. This entry takes us to a tunnel that crosses under the track, and next thing I know, I hear Formula 2 cars roaring. We exit on the infield of the Lesmos turns. Awesome! The cars are still running v8 engines, so they are loud and fast. They came zipping by and it reminds me of the old days of general seating being right there at the track at ground level. I can't believe I'm actually here. We continue walking and spend the next hour or so watching and walking the cars. By days end, I'm exhausted and ready for shopping and eating, let's head back!

Back in town we walk around looking for Milan fashion. And we find it! But we can't afford it! Oh snap! We head over to "Quadrilatero d'Oro", the Golden Square which is the Milan high end section for shopping. But unfortunately, all the stores are behind closed doors, guarded courtyards or otherwise secluded viewing unless you're holding an Amex Black Card. The only sense of high-fashion the general public gets are a couple of gold street plaques, and the Patek Philippe street clock. I bet that thing was awesome 60 years ago! Oh well, start heading back towards il Duomo, and in doing so, we walk through a couple of shopping areas and wind up in Galleria del Toro. Here we see Diesel, got that at home. Ray-Ban, got that...Vans got that...Levi's GOT THAT! Oh my God, where is the Milan fashion? Oh well, it's raining now, and at least I get some awesome Milan fashion pictures of people walking in the rain.

Day 3 - Monza: Oh boy, it's raining, but hopefully when we get to the track it will all work out. It doesn't. It is a downpour, and what we learned from yesterday, the underground tunnel leads to the infield and an hour or so of walking through what is surely now a mud pit, so we map out that getting off the train at Biassono was the wrong move, and we should switch trains and get off at Sovico. Of course we catch the wrong train and wind up in Acore. And not only are we lost, but it takes forever for the return train to bring us back. We lose an hour before we are back at Biassono-Lessmo station. Oh well, screw it, let's walk up the Via Parco to the back gate of the park. The walk was only 15 minutes yesterday, let's go! Now it starts raining, and 25 minutes later we reach the gate. Nancy is taking this much better than I am.

But at least we see the one Ferrari, in Red body and Red-White-Green accents, and that brings a smile to my face. The park inside the gate is a mess. It's all mud now, and we finally make our way up to the grandstand and hear the cars in the rain. By the time we hit our seats, qualifying has been delayed indefinitely due to rain. Well f#$% this! Back down the stairs, well, at least let's check out the Fan Zone. It's a 15-20 walk avoiding mud pits and swamp land. Guards keep telling us to stay in the ribbons, but screw 'em, I'm trying to stay dry foot and mud free. We get to see the Auto Concourse, that '54 Maserati is sweet! We try to find the right racing gear to buy, new AMG Mercedes for Nancy, and I'm still trying to find a blue Williams tech shirt for me. I need to honor Felipe Massa on his last tour of duty, and come hell or high water, I'm going to do it. Well, the high water is here, guess hell is right around the corner. But wait! I find it! Oh no...it's a medium and I need a large. What the hell, buy it, and if I find a large later, I can swap them. Holy Shit! I have a blue Williams shirt, bought at the Italian Grand Prix. Does life get any better? Yes! Read on...

We get back to the hotel after a day at the track and we're soaking wet. But we dry out and head out to Eataly for dinner. While waiting in the lobby for a ride from the shuttle service, I look up and see Mika Hakkinen! Yes that Mika Hakkinen: former McLaren driver, 2-time F1 world champion. This is awesome but I’m literally too shy to walk up and introduce and say hi to him. I take a Picture through the crowd that he is sitting with, about 10 or 12 people are discussing something that looks very important. It’s cool, I got a picture of him, but, geez I should’ve gone back and said hi. Oh well, note to self: Grow a pair! Well, let's hit it and head over to Eataly. We have been fortunate in that Stefano, does this guy ever go home, sets us up with a ride to the station to get to Eataly. We head out, and again, driving down these crazy streets and we are met with good fortune: a rainbow. I didn't even know they had these in Italy 🙂

We get to Eataly, and this place is crazy! Everyone is just a buzz, and with such warmth and generosity towards everyone. In contrast to our last Eataly experience in New York, where the crowd was uptight and rude, Milan is comfortable and welcoming. We have a good time walking the place, all 3 stories, trying to figure out what to eat. There are about 6 or 7 fooderies to dine at. We choose the large restaurant on the second floor and get ourselves a huge Quatrofolgio pizza. It has four different flavors, so we can both have a taste of the goodness. We are chugging down a bottle of Bianco we got from the 3rd floor wine shop. And once again, I'm blown away by how much English is spoken here. The clerk comes over and in Italian asks to help. As soon as my dear-in-the-headlight glance catches his, he immediately switches to English and we chat as if this was back home in LA.

Dinner was great, the experience wonderful, and the people fantastic. For a moment, I forget about the fashion search and I'm just enjoying the royal blue night sky. I love this place. I think I'm drunk. May every night be as good as tonight. The driver said he would be back at the train station at 9:00p, and we arrive spot on, and there he is, pulling up on time. How is this. I encourage him to race other drivers on the way back to the hotel, he takes me up ever so slightly, he is driving a min-van after all. But there were a couple of times he punched it and we go bumping down the street into Turn 1. Yeah, I wish.

Day 4 - Park Hyatt: Before heading out to the track we pack up and head over to drop our bags off at our new hotel, the Park Hyatt Milan. We called and they said that we they would be more than happy to hold our bags for us which is fantastic. A driver takes us from DoubleTree to Park Hyatt, and after checking in, the hotel is right next to a train station making easy transport to the track. Today, the weather is perfect, although the grass and mud areas are still a little soggy, but it’s a fantastic day to watch a race. The Italian Air Force does a fly by to start things off, first climbing high, then dropping down to do a low level fly-by on the crowd, trailing Red-White-Green smoke. How cool is that. Why don't US races do this? They always yap about how patriotic they are, and yet I've never seen a Red-White-Blue con-trail behind a jet at an auto race. I need to write about this to someone. Anyway, the weather was awesome, the race was fast, but not fast enough for the Ferrari drivers. Kimi Raikkonen actually was passed later in the race, losing 4th place. And this was such a contrast to his brilliant start of the race. See the video of the 1st lap, the crowd was going crazy over him. Oh well, I'm sure he'll get over it. All of a sudden, 71 laps have flown by, and it is time for the time honored tradition of running down to the podium. Fans at the italian GP, unlike any other, go running down the main straight to pack 100,000 fans on to the track to participate in the trophy presentations.  It's a pretty awesome event, and whats so call is you get the see the track and facilities up close. And it's here that you notice the cracks in the asphalt of the and the general deterioration of the place. Just like Milan.

After the race we head back to the hotel. We freshen up and head out to walkabout the courtyard of il Duomo. I'm again looking for fashion, but I begin to notice everyone here wears American casual. I don't think I've seen so many Abercombie & Fitch shirts ever! And then America's greatest export, rock n' roll in the form of a kid playing as Slash on the guitar, jamming on Gun's n Roses "Sweet Child O' Mine". That’s what’s so interesting about Milan, everybody wears American tagged items. Oh well, still no Milan fashion, so let's have dinner at Granaio next door. We dine on a fantastic filter and my cheesy lasagna bowl like substance. We discuss plans for next day, driving out to the Serravalle Outlet to get some Milan fashion for sure! Now I'm getting giddy about it. Although, I should have bought that Milan t-shirt the one sidewalk vendor had. A cool if not simple white t-shirt with red MI, white L and green AN. That would have sufficed as a fashion statement back home.

Day 5 - Serravalle: The next day we’re up and the plan is that we rent a car on Monday use it to drive around and then Tuesday we drive ourselves to the airport saving from the $95 transfer cost. A great idea as it lets us get out and explore the city a little more with a quick little drive around town. See the Driving around Milan video to get a feel for it. We head out to Serravalle to the outlet center to that when people say this is the real shopping. Finally I’m going to get my hands on some serious Milanese fashion! We walk over the Europcar rental shop. It is hot and stuffy here. But then it hits me. I've been in Milan for 4 days now, 3 days at the race track,  and I've seen only 1 Ferrari. ONE! What the heck is going on here!?! This is Italy, right? I mean none at the parking lot, none at the party spot, none when we rode the bus back to the Monza station. Nothing. Just a bunch of baby Fiat Pandas and Renault Clios. Tiny little cars for over priced European fuel and no where to park anyway. And just as I was thinking this, bam! This wahoo pulls up in his Lamborghini! What? Finally, but of course, he's English and it's just a rental. I think, that should have been me. How cool would it be to drive around Milan in a Lamborghini? But before I could finish that dream, the attendant pulls up in our Citroen C1. How embarrassing! This car looks like a stiff wind would just blow it over. OMG! and it's in Whimpy Blue. And it's French! I thought we were getting a Fiat? Oh no, it is a time honoured tradition to drive the car of the country we are in. In Italy, driving a French car, oh no!

Oh well, we get in and head out. What a trip. There's a red light every 5 seconds. At one point I gun and blast through a light, but to no avail, the next light catches me dead. As in I was so upset about all these lights that I forgot it was a manual drive and stalled the car. And yes, you guessed it, it would not start up. Again, in my frustration, I forgot to press the clutch in. Oh well, we're off!

90 minutes along A7 to Serravalle, and one thing I notice is that the drivers are so polite. Everybody stays on the right lane leaving the left lane open for speeders like myself. Driving in my mighty mighty Citroen C1, a whopping 56 horse power scooters down the highway at above posted speeds. We get to the outlet center and lo and behold, the prices are actually 10% higher than the outlet center here in Vegas and in Cabazon. Are you kidding me? We walk around, I think we buy a T-shirt or two as souvenirs, we have lunch at Ham Holy Cow. How could you not eat at a place like that. I see the hugo Boss store, and same, why buy this suit for €600 euros, when I can buy it for $500US back home. What a dud. We had back to Milan in time for our show at Teatro alla Scala. Tonight, it's Hantzel and Gretel, the original German version. The theater is amazing, although a little cramped, but it’s an interesting show. Good thing I read the notes prior to viewing because I have no idea what they were talking about. But it’s a fantastic experience and we had a fantastic time and I can’t believe it’s already over.

Day 5 - Malpensa: We are up and headed to the airport. The bags get loaded into this tiny little 4-door scooter. I look up and see the Galleria Vittorio  totally empty. Ah, one last shot before leaving. We wave good-bye and exchange pleasantries with the staff, the door men up this early are  still bright and cheery. I have come to appreciate the Italian spirit. What wonderful people and everyone treats you like family here. Ciao, we head out and have a caravan with a BMW 7-series. This was kind of fun as this guy was a little heavy on the gas pedal. But the with a red light every 5 seconds, the Citroen could handle it. The drive is a fun one to say goodbye through the city and then see some of the more of the countryside. Interestingly enough, we Google map the rental car location, and they actually use the image of our little Citroen, the same light blue color, as their tag. How funny. We get to the airport in plenty of time, and irony of ironies, in the airport is an actual Williams Formula One car on display. How cool is that?  Two weekends of Formula One racing and it’s at the Malpensa airport that I finally get to touch a Formula One car. Just don’t tell anybody I touched it, I had to slide under the rope, but I was going to touch that damn car no matter what. OK, let's head over to some duty free to buy all sorts of alcohol to bring onto the plane. We're headed home now, arrivederla Milano. It’s been grand!

Post Note: All the time searching for high-end men’s fashion in Milan I came home with nothing. We had a five hour layover in New Jersey, so we headed over to Jersey park place to walk around the mall there for some last-minute shopping and dining. Turns out it’s an outlet center, turns out they have a Hugo boss store there, and the last gray suit they had, which was also on sale, turns out was my size! Finally, I get my Milan fashion and first Hugo Boss suit...in New Jersey! At least I can claim it’s a Hugo Boss suit from our Milan trip. Italian fashion search is over!